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Society and the message

July 9, 2012

Hello everyone, I hope everyone is having a good day. I have not been able to post much the past few days. My cat had to have a C-section to deliver her kittens. Plus various other things getting in my way, that’s life. I am just one person trying to do a blog that can help inform people about where we are at in America. The reason I say can help instead of may help, is because I try and do my reading and research before I post an article. When I was younger I wanted to be a journalist, I had so much respect for what they did, not to mention the travel, it all seemed like the best job ever. My opinion has of course changed, I have very little respect for the field now, most have sold their integrity to satan, they write for “the devils daily” now.

But real life got in the way. I came from a single parent family (before it was accepted), I quit school in 9th grade and went to work. Joined the Navy and got to see the world, after I was discharged from the Navy I would get the traveling bug every little while. I have recently figured out a big part of the reason for not being able to settle down so easy. My parents got divorced when I was 3 years old, and then came several step-fathers through time. I stuttered almost every other word from the time I learned to talk. That made my life a lot more difficult, I was very introverted because of it. But through all of it I was a sponge wanting knowledge.

As I grew I never understood people (still don’t), I spent most of my days studying everyone and everything around me. Since I had a speech problem I was picked on all the time (called bullying now) and was not part of the group most of the time, so I had lots of time to myself. I did not become angry and hateful because of it, I tried to learn from it. I did have anger and hate in me but that was from not having a father in my life, and not understanding why.

As I was developing I had the traditional male/female roles around me to learn from, and a religious background that supported it. The problem was it was the 70’s and part of society was trying to throw out those roles, in favor of their enlightened (liberal) attitude. You can imagine the confusion it created in me, a young man in his early teens trying to find his place in the world, and having no father figure complicated it. I had firm ideas of who I was supposed to grow into as a man, but society around me was telling me much of that was wrong.

Of course, I like many kids of the time got involved in the drug culture, I found no help there. What I did find though was many other confused and lost souls like myself. Most of them from single parent or dysfunctional families, it offered no help, but it gave me companions on trek to self destruction. I was lucky though, I already had very strong morals and values instilled in me, that was good and bad though. The good of it was that I knew right from wrong, the bad was when I did wrong, it created feelings of guilt and self loathing within me, serving to fuel my descent even more.

To be continued……

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